Another reason stepparenting can be harder than parenting is that stepchildren come into the mix at a variety of ages. Their ages can influence how quickly you can build a relationship with them. Children under 10 are often quickest to accept a stepparent, while children ages 10 to 14 may have the most difficult time.
YOU'RE RAISING KIDS WITH RULES + VALUES THAT MAY NOT BE ALIGNED WITH YOURS. Stepmoms come in halfway through the game. Rules, expectations, and family values have already been established. Many times, stepmoms report feeling torn because they do not agree with rules and expectations that are in place for the kids.
Stepfamily members encounter many positive experiences, but they are also faced with many challenges. These challenges include relationships between family members, unrealistic expectations, and cultural myths. Stepparent role Stepfamilies often have a difficult time defining the role of the stepparent.
These factors include: whether the stepfamily was formed when the children were infants or minors or when children are teenagers or grown up; the level of conflict or animosity that exists (if any) between the separated parents and also between the stepparent and the children's 'other' parent; the other parent's ...
Intimacy between people takes a long time, is built over repeated interactions, and develops at its own pace. It can be incredibly frustrating even in healthy relationships between two adults. It can feel impossible between an adult and an unrelated child. Adults in blended families are given a puzzle too.
Other blended family problems include the fact that children in blended families may not accept the new partner or their new step-siblings, school problems resulting from the situation at home, and resentment and emotional issues for any blended stepfamily member.
Studies also suggest that stress levels for children are not improved when a child acquires a stepfamily through marriage. Although there may be increased economic stability, stepfamilies typically have a high level of interpersonal conflict (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994).
The lack of control over your own life can be extremely challenging, particularly for women who have been living independent, child-free lives until they met their partner. You might feel like you're giving everything of yourself in exchange for stress, anxiety, conflict, and the feeling of being an outsider.
Challenges of being a step-parent
To start with, you might feel a bit left out. Your stepchild might reject you, ignore you or just feel uncomfortable or shy around you. It can be hard to cope with this and find a way to relate to your stepchild that works for her and for you.
Being a stepmom gets tougher when you feel under-appreciated, used, unheard, and emotionally drained. It is easy to feel used because you love hard but things like not being recognized on Mother's Day or other special occasions occur. The child may never say thank you for being my bonus parent and giving me your all.
First, if you really not only dislike the stepchildren but can't stand them, please consider whether the relationship is worth it and will survive over time. Seek individual therapy and think about the long term.
Teenagers living with a stepfather or stepmother were more troubled than those who split their time between parents. They reported more symptoms of mental health problems, such as depression and dishonesty, and more bullying at school.
Disintegration of families, juvenile delinquency, domestic violence, substance abuse, dangers of drugs, ways to help children say "NO' to drugs, parental absenteeism, economic difficulties, absence of family goals and values, early sexual involvement, negative influence of media.
Blended families are families in which the remarried partners bring children into the relationship. These children in these families may face a number of challenges. These challenges include an unfamiliar network of relationships, particularly with an adult in which they have not fallen in love with.
Blending families is HARD! Blending families usually leaves some in the family without a voice (most often it's the children). Children want to share their “truth” about blended families. A “blended family” is rarely, if ever, an attractive alternative for a child of divorce.