INFJs are intense, emotional, and intuitive, and can often come across as intimidating to others, or extremely aloof. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close, loving relationships.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone.
They both find outside stimuli such as noise, activity, lights and people not only distracting, but stressful and at times exhausting. This is because the INFJ's strength is internal and they are highly sensitive to the outside world.
It seems like every INFJ I've had the pleasure of dating has been exceptionally clingy in a relationship. They won't say it with their words but by their actions and passive aggressive attitude it's clearly evident. They need constant attention even the mature ones.
INFJs do not connect deeply with people easily, and once they do they take those bonds very seriously. If they care for someone they will want to be close to them emotionally, which can sometimes appear clingy to people.
You can come off as clingy and needy.
INFJs are incredibly loyal, and when they love, they love more deeply and fiercely than even they can fathom; they desperately want the people in their life to feel appreciated. However, this behavior can backfire, as constant communication and “How are you doing?
Remember that INFJs tend to be quite sensitive and emotional. If an INFJ slams the door on you, they may suddenly stop all communication with you. If this is not possible, because they see you every day at home, work, or school, they may simply close themselves off emotionally and refuse to allow you in.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
Unhealthy INFJs are chronic people-pleasers who never want to disappoint. 7. They become so involved with other people's problems that they can't focus on their own. Likewise, they become so bogged down with other people's emotions that their day is often ruined because someone else is having a bad day.
The INFJ can find themselves getting hurt feelings over small actions taken, or even ones which haven't been taken. They don't do this on purpose, they just care so deeply about these people and value their opinions and their words.
INFJs detest attention-seeking behaviors and melodrama. Their strong intuition combined with their awareness of emotions makes it easy for them to spot when someone is being fake or is always seeking the spotlight. Emotionally manipulative movies and TV shows also get on their nerves.
Because INFJs are so naturally aware of harmony levels and emotional needs, they are irritated by people who seem tactless, rude, mean-spirited, troll-ish, or unnecessarily disruptive. In situations where someone is corrupting the emotional atmosphere for their own selfish gains, an INFJ can become severely angered.
INFJs have a natural proclivity towards perfectionism, which can certainly cause them to become obsessive or high strung about things.
According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language. This is followed by Words of Affirmation (25.54%), Physical Touch (21.83%), Acts of Service (14.04%), and Gifts (2.92%).
INFJs tend to be guarded about their physical space, except for when it comes to family and VERY close friends. If they're finding excuses to touch your hand, bump up against you, or hug you, then it probably means they have feelings for you.
INFJs do notice certain details about someone's appearance, and will pay close attention. They rarely judge someone because of imperfections, and are much more interested in the heart and intentions of an individual.
INFJs feel people's emotions deeply and make them their own. Many INFJs profess how they can sense people's “aura” and feel something is off about a person. They don't only imagine what it feels like, but they immerse themselves in people's emotions which makes them exceptional empaths.
It can be hard for other people to understand.
Our complexity is due to our contradictory INFJ traits. We appear outgoing to people, but what we really want to do is to stay at home. Even though we share a lot about ourselves, there's still a lot of things people don't know about us.
INFJs are often attracted to people who are passionate souls, with so much going on inside of them. They are drawn to those who possess depth and are capable of expressing this in their own unique ways. Someone who is shallow is truly unappealing to the INFJ and is highly unlikely to interest them at all.
The fact that INFJs are so in touch with the emotions of others can make them talented when it comes to the art of manipulation. Being someone who can read emotions and recognize people's needs, makes it rather easy to figure out the best ways to manipulate or coerce them into doing things.
When it isn't healthy, INFJs can damage their relationships and become too one-sided, losing touch with their crucial feeling side. Not all INFJs are codependent, detached critics, or dangerous in any way. But being aware of these possibilities can help you to understand yourself better.
Too many details or other sensory stimuli can provoke a stress reaction in INFJs, especially when you feel uncertain about a situation. Unexpected environments, events or interruptions unsettle you greatly since you are forced to focus on immediate, sensory details rather than relying on your intuition.
INFJs feel insecure when they receive criticism or are faced with conflict or confrontation. They want to live in a harmonious atmosphere as much as possible, and they tend to take criticism very personally as children.