7 Tips to Help You Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex, and Heal After a Breakup
- 1) Don't be impulsive, or engage in behaviors that you will regret. ...
- 2) Allow yourself time to heal. ...
- 3) Focus on yourself and your healing. ...
- 4) Allow yourself a specific amount of time to grieve and think about the loss of the relationship.
It's called "limerence." Limerence is, according to Wakin and Tennov, when someone spends a large amount of time trying to get over their ex, but, for whatever reason, are completely unable to move on. It's more than just a bad heartbreak; it's a pathological problem.
Sometimes, people are still thinking about their Ex for months, or even years after the relationship ended because of lingering insecurities or comparisons they're making — even subconsciously. This is often true when your Ex has moved on before you have.
- Distract yourself so you're literally too busy to even think about them. ...
- Establish some boundaries with yourself. ...
- Give yourself some time to feel sad, or mad, or angry, or literally whatever. ...
- Understand that you may still have lingering feelings for this person, and that's okay. ...
- Indulge in alllll the self care.
Thinking about an ex is normal, and it doesn't mean you need to break up with the person you're dating. “It is natural for an emotion to bring up other experiences with similar emotions," she said. "The feelings might match, and in fact, we might realize that our first relationship led to this relationship."
Put simply, one of the main reasons you're not letting go of a past relationship is because you're lonely right now, said Erika Ettin, a relationship coach and founder of A Little Nudge. "Rather than pining over someone who wasn't right for you, focus on yourself," she said.
If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you, whether, via an unfriend or a straight block, it might mean that they miss you.
You may be having these feelings due to something else, such as nostalgia. You may love the person you used to be, or love them for who they were. Other times, you have a personality that makes you obsessed. If you do want your ex back, and the feeling is mutual, then perhaps it's time to get back together.
Being in love creates disruptions in your brain chemistry that increase dopamine, the chemical responsible for making you feel euphorically good anytime you're around your ex. Your brain is hard-wired to enjoy the feeling of dopamine, so it releases even more every time you think about your partner.
And that's the why of why exes move on so fast – in reality, they're just trying to force the process of moving on. But in the end, they will have to confront those feelings. So you've looked at your ex's post-breakup behavior and determined that they are hurting.
What Is the 90-Day Rule After a Breakup? The 90-day no-contact rule after a breakup means just that — no contact for 90 days. Giving yourself at least three months to process a breakup without reaching out to your ex can help you grow, heal and think about yourself and your needs.
Some people may be asking, “Does No Contact work?”. While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
If your partner ended things, thinking of the breakup (or your ex-partner) can intensify feelings of abandonment and rejection. This can, in turn, fuel a cycle of intrusive thoughts and rumination that eventually begins to disrupt your daily life.
Is it normal to still love your ex after 2 years? For some people it's normal to have lingering feelings for an ex after two or more years. If the relationship is truly over and neither of you is doing anything to make the other hold out hope for reconciliation, it is likely that these feelings will fade with time.
Love is a feeling when a person wants the best for the one he loves, and always wants them to be happy, even if they are not part of his life. On the other hand, obsession is a crazy feeling where the person wants the other to be his or her's only.
Obsessive love disorder is a condition that causes you to experience obsessive feelings you might mistake as love for another person. A person with obsessive love disorder will indulge in these feelings, regardless if they are reciprocated or not.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a mental illness. It's made up of two parts: obsessions and compulsions. People may experience obsessions, compulsions, or both, and they cause a lot of distress. Obsessions are unwanted and repetitive thoughts, urges, or images that don't go away.