Many narcissistic individuals are quite capable of assuring you that you are the love of their life one day, and then suddenly leave you for someone else because they got angry or bored. Their desire to reconnect with you after the “discard,” is equally shallow.
The narcissist likes to be the one in control and if they think you have caught onto them and figured them out, then they are unlikely to come back after the discard. You are a liability at this point and can no longer be a source of supply to boost their egos.
Following a discard, many narcissists will leave you alone for a while. Not only do they want you to feel worthless and undeserving of your time, but they're probably searching for better romantic prospects. The key to getting a narcissist to chase you is to show them what they're missing out on.
Impact on the Person With Narcissistic Tendencies
People with narcissistic tendencies typically don't let go of their source of attention and admiration unless they've secured a new one. If they lose something important to their self-image by discarding you, they'll feel the loss and come back.
When their current supply source is no longer serving them as before, they will start going through their list of exes and former supply sources. When the narcissist comes back after discarding you or after you go No Contact, that's called hoovering.
It's all a trick to reassert their control. So, in short, the answer is yes, a narcissist will continue to come back after “no contact” until their targets cut off all forms of narcissistic supply, leaving them no choice but to go find other prey upon which to feed.
Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle. Too often, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again, training their target to expect them to come back. Narcissists don't offer closure.
Ignoring a narcissist who ignores you only encourages them to hoover. They know that you want respect, dignity, and love so they will exhibit behaviors that fool you into thinking they really have changed. But these behaviors are completely contrived to suck you back in like a Hoover vacuum.
If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.
They can have deep regret for failed relationships and they may feel loss very deeply. But they feel that regret and loss only insofar as they relate to their own agenda and feelings . Their remorse points inward. They may feel very sad that they lost someone and they may genuinely miss that person.
Do Narcissists come back after dumping you? Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.
In your heart, you may want very much for the narcissist to prefer you over the new supply but, the fact is, narcissists don't really miss any of their former supply sources. Narcissists don't stay in relationships because they emotionally bond with their partner(s).
It really is all about him. Essentially, narcissists thrive on using others as a source to make them feel important, loved, cherished. If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive.
Narcissists and other manipulators can try to win you back even after you cut them out of your life. In fact, they can do that even if they were the one who ended the relationship.
Most narcissists will not readily change their behavior once you ignore them. They might make half-hearted attempts to “get better,” but they often abandon these efforts once they can refuel their narcissistic supply. This pattern often leads you to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry.
For those in or getting out of a romantic relationship with a self-absorbed individual, the silent treatment can feel like a punishment worse than death. The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.
2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
As mentioned, playing the narcissist at their own game is the only way to get him addicted to you. Narcissists have mastered the art of playing with people's emotions. It delights them to no end when they know they can play you like a puppet on a string.
Illnesses, aging, and job losses or promotions can act as triggers for the narcissist to suddenly abandon the relationship.
Why do narcissists come back to old relationships? Because Narcissists are confident you will take them back. Unfortunately for the victims of narcissist abuse, once they have been discarded, they are still emotionally connected to their abuser.